Fifteen for Free
Unlike Moses, I didn’t drop the third tablet on my way down from the mount; here are a few tips to help you get through the game of life on your terms. Bear in mind, I’m not being cynical; I am trying to save you disappointment.
1. “If you can’t beat ‘em, and they won’t let you join ‘em, take the next train out of town.” (James Garner, Poker According to Maverick, Dell, 1959.)
2. Never, ever, make an enemy, unless you have an awful lot to gain by it.
3. Most people that incur your wrath or enmity are not worth spending any time fretting over. That they have to be themselves until they die is a far worse punishment than anything you can do to them.
4. When you are not sure what is the right thing to do, do what you think is right.
5. The face you are born with is the one given to you by God; the one you die with is the sum total of what you have accomplished in your lifetime. Make that face one others will respect, admire, and emulate.
6. Mistakes are a blessing; paying them careful attention will save you misery in the future. Learn from them; don’t ignore them. As for me, I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.
7. Teach your children well. This isn’t your planet; you’re only borrowing it from them.
8. You will become acquainted with many people in your lifetime. You will make but a couple of friends. How to tell the difference? A friend is someone whom, if you suddenly need a ride to San Francisco at 2 AM, will be there to pick you up in ten minutes or less. When you get there, the debt is paid in full with a simple, “Thank you.” And they’ll do it again the next week, without complaining or asking why.
9. Most people fit this mold: do something for them once and they’ll thank you; the second time they’ll expect it, the third time, if you don’t do it, you’re a son–of–a–bitch.
10. Unconditional love comes only from good parents or your children (until they become teenagers); everyone else that ‘loves’ you puts their own best interests into the mix. Be aware of this; but never tell the other party. There is no need to always treat others’ intentions as suspect, but blind acceptance can leave you with a black eye.
11. Unless your last name is Rockefeller, Kennedy, Astor, Vanderbilt, Carnegie, or Mellon, and you’re a close relative of those tycoons, you are going to have to work for what you want. Those families once started with nothing and made their money the old–fashioned way—they stole it.
12. Integrity. The mark of a man or woman. It harks back to the maxim, “My word is my bond.” Integrity is like good art—you can’t define it, but you know it when you see it.
13. Anyone can swear. A class act avoids profanity. It is cheap, trite, and demeaning. Have fun with words, be creative. Let the socktuckers and futher–muckers sound crass, strive for class in word and deed.
14. To get from this week to the next you need to eat, drink water, and sleep. Everything else is a bonus.
15. You never realize how good you feel when you are well until you get sick. Good health is the most precious of all commodities.
Bonus Tablet
16. Youth and skill will always be overcome by old age and treachery.
17. Hard work should never interrupt happiness. Never do anything that makes you unhappy.
18. Education is the one thing that no one can ever take away from you.
19. If you work for someone, the best you can hope for is overtime and a raise. If you work for yourself, you are limited only by your own ingenuity and industriousness.
20. An unhappy person will not live long. If you are happy, then you are already rich beyond compare.
